Strange as this post will seem, it's a little bit of a concept I found flitting around my brain while I was watching the flames of a portable barbecue. Something I've been toying with ever since. It's like a little bit of freeform expression I haven't exercised in a while. I'm more than a little lonely now, so I thought I'd write to the nameless faceless daydream that maybe it'll have a little more substance, maybe just get out some of the things I feel when I keep finding myself wishing for it, alone and in these same 4 bare walls. So here goes. Beware, if it doesn't make sense it's because I like using metaphor. A lot.
**********
Dear Dream,
I miss you every time I open my eyes, and sleeping isn't the same without you. You'd keep me warm when I'm cold, I imagine your arms around me, how good it would feel to share our heat when it is cold, to share a kiss when it's warm, share a bottle of wine by the moonlight as darkness closes in on a summer eve.
I worry about too many things, even in my blissful sleep. I wonder if perhaps, perfect slumber, perhaps I am flawed. I am shamed by what I once was and how it has marked what I am, but I am not who I once was, I have strength I never thought I would. I've changed so much, I would never want my past to haunt me now nor the secrets it holds safely in the back of my mind.
I'm terrified, sweet dreams, that I will try and dream you too fast and will wake up and lose you. I'm scared if I don't keep dreaming, I'll slip into a deeper sleep and be just as lost and without a dream... I fear I can't win, because I know I will have to wake up and be restless again with just a memory. I want to live the dream.... I'm not desperate, I don't want to grip too tightly and risk crushing what I hold dear and neither do I want to leave my hands too loose and let it fly off in the wind....
My dear dream I am lost, I am torn, between wanting to bring you close to my heart and wanting to keep you away in case a dream is all you are. And what are you anyway? Are you the knight in shining armour come to rescue me? I never was a princess in a tower. Are you a hero, saving me from the nightmares I run from? I don't know why I'm running any more but I still see the monsters in the shadows. Are you a cloud, comforting, protecting me from the sun? I want to drift away with you but I fear you may rain....
Maybe, you are a star. Something strange, something beautiful that I can't understand, something so distant but still bringing a little light and guidance upon the darkest eves...maybe you're just a dream, that my hopes and wishes will be in vain, for only a fool could sleep so....
For days now my sleep has been without you, still in my mind lingering, waiting for me to close my eyes, but I wake after nothing again. I miss dreaming, for in my rest is the only time I feel truly free. I hope you return soon, and sooth my restless slumber.
Yours in faith,
Jenivere the Dreamer
************************
If you're reading this and confused, I may be willing to explain if you contact me. Until then, I have some catching up to do.
Jenivere Out
**********
Dear Dream,
I miss you every time I open my eyes, and sleeping isn't the same without you. You'd keep me warm when I'm cold, I imagine your arms around me, how good it would feel to share our heat when it is cold, to share a kiss when it's warm, share a bottle of wine by the moonlight as darkness closes in on a summer eve.
I worry about too many things, even in my blissful sleep. I wonder if perhaps, perfect slumber, perhaps I am flawed. I am shamed by what I once was and how it has marked what I am, but I am not who I once was, I have strength I never thought I would. I've changed so much, I would never want my past to haunt me now nor the secrets it holds safely in the back of my mind.
I'm terrified, sweet dreams, that I will try and dream you too fast and will wake up and lose you. I'm scared if I don't keep dreaming, I'll slip into a deeper sleep and be just as lost and without a dream... I fear I can't win, because I know I will have to wake up and be restless again with just a memory. I want to live the dream.... I'm not desperate, I don't want to grip too tightly and risk crushing what I hold dear and neither do I want to leave my hands too loose and let it fly off in the wind....
My dear dream I am lost, I am torn, between wanting to bring you close to my heart and wanting to keep you away in case a dream is all you are. And what are you anyway? Are you the knight in shining armour come to rescue me? I never was a princess in a tower. Are you a hero, saving me from the nightmares I run from? I don't know why I'm running any more but I still see the monsters in the shadows. Are you a cloud, comforting, protecting me from the sun? I want to drift away with you but I fear you may rain....
Maybe, you are a star. Something strange, something beautiful that I can't understand, something so distant but still bringing a little light and guidance upon the darkest eves...maybe you're just a dream, that my hopes and wishes will be in vain, for only a fool could sleep so....
For days now my sleep has been without you, still in my mind lingering, waiting for me to close my eyes, but I wake after nothing again. I miss dreaming, for in my rest is the only time I feel truly free. I hope you return soon, and sooth my restless slumber.
Yours in faith,
Jenivere the Dreamer
************************
If you're reading this and confused, I may be willing to explain if you contact me. Until then, I have some catching up to do.
Jenivere Out
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment