BrainVomit - Inconsiderate Bastards

Dear reader, you poor misguided person, I warn you that I will begin typing now but cannot promise exactly when I'll stop. So much is going on I am about to have a total meltdown if I don't get it out. BrainVomit just got a tad more serious. But I do pledge to put in a positive word because until about 5pm tonight, the day had gone rather spiffingly well. Maybe I'll end on the positive note and hope that frame of mind stays with me.

So why did it all go wrong at 5? Well, I have been awaiting my final pay from old job for days now, and went to the shop to get credit. I only asked for a fiver, because I knew if the pay wasn't in my bank I'd be able to top up with the last of the cash I had for fuel so I could at least contact my ex-boss to find out where the hell it is. Card declined. No monies. Again. Put credit on phone using fuel cash, now hoping it won't come back to bite me on the ass when I run out halfway home but I'm sure it'll be fine. So I text my ex-boss the following message...

"The slip you sent with my p45/p60 said i would have my final pay on the 29th but unfortunately it hasnt arrived - please can you confirm when it is likely to clear so i can pay my rent? Hope all is well. Thanks, Jen" (I didn't get angry or rant but thought I should mention rent just to put a little pressure on to get a reply)

Not long later the reply came through...

"I'm sorry Jen, I didn't have the funds to pay any salaries. But a payment of £240 went out today and the remainder is going out tomorrow. Shouldn't take longer than 2 days to reach your account. Sorry again. Hope all is well with you and Happy belayed birthday. G"

My initial reaction was to vocalise a hearty "what the fuck" at my phone, and since then have been quietly fuming and muttering under my breath in the general direction I assume she is right now. My previous rant goes in to how the lack of said expected monies very nearly put me in a very serious bind, and indeed yesterday to be able to even get to the job centre today and sign on I had to go to my mother's, unanounced because I had no credit to do so, and ask to borrow money for the goddamn fuel to get to Poole.

Where is the consideration?! As far as I knew, there was no reason for there not to be money in my account on the 29th May. They have my number, my phone has not been off once in all that time neither have I missed any calls or messages from them. They have my mother's contact details also on record. There is NO REASON WHATSOEVER that they couldn't have just let me know it was going to be late. I mean, what the fuck, serious what the fuck, did they even think? I have no fucking job, no other source of income until benefits are sorted and pretty obviously need the goddamned money because of all that. I'm not rich and I don't have savings to fall back on. I don't have a particularly rich family who can bail me out. I have a family who are just about getting by and still manage to support me a tiny bit in my hour of need by some crazy miracle or another, and the last thing I want to have to do is keep having to borrow money because I just simply can't afford to live. No food, no transport, no nothing. GRR!

My title mentioned inconsiderate bastards though, plural, so there's another one to rant about. However, the writing of this has been disturbed by several events and I'm now too drained to even start on that one so I'll leave it for another day. Heck, I can;t even finish on the positive now, so I'll restart this tomorrow.

Jenivere Out

BrainVomit - Stupid Banks,The 8am Paradox, and The Nature of Secrets

Ahhh what a weekend! Just finished the second of my cakes now, they were only little ones but so much icing! I had one for breakfast with cold pizza (bad plan for anyone who likes to not feel like they've been in a cement mixer first thing in the morning). I have so much on my mind now it has just started whirring again at 110mph, so I need a little BrainVomit to get it out!

Firstly, just take a look at these. NOM! Quarter pounders, bacon sausage double cheeseburgers. Jealous much? :p

Right, on with the ranty part. I want to get this out of the way so I can get on to the more positive things in my head that need a bit of breathing room. Well I say positive, maybe just a bit less ranty and more philosophical.

I lost my job. This annoys me slightly. What annoys me a hundred times more is that my final payslip came through, showing a figure which will just about get me through while benefits are being sorted out, and the date was as it should be, the last working day of the month. So I go happily along believing that I can survive on just the few pennies and supplies I have until Friday 29th, make plans that involve monies for my birthday on 3oth, let bike get expensive and much needed repairs....so I go to take out what I need, and get told that not only is the money not there but it can't be tracked until it actually arrives in my account. It's paid by BACS, a banking system old-work used via the internet to pay directly to my account, but it takes a couple of days to clear. I had no message to say it'd be late because it was paid in late, nothing to say it wouldn't be there at all either, just allowed to go on believing it'd be there. But nothing. Bank say, it'll be there after 4pm if it was put in on time. Back I go much later than that. Nothing. And they said, well it could be Saturday. Well it's now Sunday and by luck and the grace of a couple of people far greater than I, the weekend wasn't a complete disaster like it could have been. But now I have to turn up at mothers house unannounced and ask for money for fuel so I can get to the jobcentre tomorrow. I was planning on getting credit Friday, funnily enough, with that pay I was expecting. Angryface.

Slightly less ranty, the 8am paradox. It doesn't matter where I am, what's going on, when I went to sleep, who I'm with, how tired I am, 8am I wake up. Simple as that. If I go to sleep 4am or later I might be able to sleep again until about 10am, but other than that I just can't. Sleeping itself is a miracle at the moment and this is only making it more annoying. Especially as anyone I stay with is 99.99% likely to need to sleep at least another few hours past this time :(

Anyway, on to the next topic. Secrets. What is a secret? A phrase I hear too often is dirty little secret, like it's wrong to keep something back from other people. A sin for the world not to know every truth, every detail, but is it always that way? Maybe. But then maybe there are precious secrets, pretty little things that are just shy of the sunshine that should be treasured until they are ready to be let go. I have one or 2 of those I guard away, I think they may be better free some day but I will keep them safe until their true keepers let them fly out of the nest. I just don't think that something secret has to be something negative, I mean there's things like surprises, good surprises that would be ruined without a few pretty little secrets. If we knew everything, life would be more boring, no?

Jenivere Out