Ahhh what a weekend! Just finished the second of my cakes now, they were only little ones but so much icing! I had one for breakfast with cold pizza (bad plan for anyone who likes to not feel like they've been in a cement mixer first thing in the morning). I have so much on my mind now it has just started whirring again at 110mph, so I need a little BrainVomit to get it out!
Firstly, just take a look at these. NOM! Quarter pounders, bacon sausage double cheeseburgers. Jealous much? :p
Right, on with the ranty part. I want to get this out of the way so I can get on to the more positive things in my head that need a bit of breathing room. Well I say positive, maybe just a bit less ranty and more philosophical.
I lost my job. This annoys me slightly. What annoys me a hundred times more is that my final payslip came through, showing a figure which will just about get me through while benefits are being sorted out, and the date was as it should be, the last working day of the month. So I go happily along believing that I can survive on just the few pennies and supplies I have until Friday 29th, make plans that involve monies for my birthday on 3oth, let bike get expensive and much needed repairs....so I go to take out what I need, and get told that not only is the money not there but it can't be tracked until it actually arrives in my account. It's paid by BACS, a banking system old-work used via the internet to pay directly to my account, but it takes a couple of days to clear. I had no message to say it'd be late because it was paid in late, nothing to say it wouldn't be there at all either, just allowed to go on believing it'd be there. But nothing. Bank say, it'll be there after 4pm if it was put in on time. Back I go much later than that. Nothing. And they said, well it could be Saturday. Well it's now Sunday and by luck and the grace of a couple of people far greater than I, the weekend wasn't a complete disaster like it could have been. But now I have to turn up at mothers house unannounced and ask for money for fuel so I can get to the jobcentre tomorrow. I was planning on getting credit Friday, funnily enough, with that pay I was expecting. Angryface.
Slightly less ranty, the 8am paradox. It doesn't matter where I am, what's going on, when I went to sleep, who I'm with, how tired I am, 8am I wake up. Simple as that. If I go to sleep 4am or later I might be able to sleep again until about 10am, but other than that I just can't. Sleeping itself is a miracle at the moment and this is only making it more annoying. Especially as anyone I stay with is 99.99% likely to need to sleep at least another few hours past this time :(
Anyway, on to the next topic. Secrets. What is a secret? A phrase I hear too often is dirty little secret, like it's wrong to keep something back from other people. A sin for the world not to know every truth, every detail, but is it always that way? Maybe. But then maybe there are precious secrets, pretty little things that are just shy of the sunshine that should be treasured until they are ready to be let go. I have one or 2 of those I guard away, I think they may be better free some day but I will keep them safe until their true keepers let them fly out of the nest. I just don't think that something secret has to be something negative, I mean there's things like surprises, good surprises that would be ruined without a few pretty little secrets. If we knew everything, life would be more boring, no?
Jenivere Out
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