I had been wondering how long it would be before I got another message from "him". So here's the new ones...
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29/7 00:42am
i finally found out why things went to pieces. im confused about it tbh. never thought itd be something so simple and clear cut. if you want to know just ask and ill explain. i wouldnt bother with this but i believe that if you deserve nothing else you deserve an explaination... also i hope that in some small part it will help you forgive me as the way i acted was not entirely my fault. i dont expect that though..... its your call.
29/7 00:48am
oh side note i wont be able to reply over the weekend if you do want to know as itll be taken up completely with sonisphere.
31/7 00:35am
if you dont want to know or care then fine. But I find it fucking disgusting that you have such little regard for a friend and confidant that would have done anything for you. the last piece of advice ill give you is this. neitzche once said "battle not with monsters lest ye become a monster and if you gaze into the abyss the abyss gazes also into you" i hope you understand the wisdom of those words...
~~~~~~~~~~~
No, I understand the sheer arrogance of those words. Keep them to yourself you don't even know what they mean, pseudo philosophical bullshit, you quote what you do not even know. you buy the books but they remain, as ever, unread. And for the record your actions are your own responsibility, I dont know if I can hold any forgiveness for someone who cannot admit their own flaws. I admit mine, I admit pushing you into doing some of what you did sometimes. Not intentionally of course but I played my part in making you what you were as you played your part in bringing me to my knees. I've rebuilt my life and have little interest in your endless explainations of why you did what you did, as always with you, you have already come up with several different conclusions.
You going to Sonisphere? A festival? Fucking hell, you do realise there are people there don't you jackass? I'm assuming Sam is dragging you, because he cares about you and knows you need to get out. I can't see you volunteering to go away to a music festival and camp, least of all Sonisphere. I mean, fucking hell. It's just beyond belief. You, you who won't walk to the shop sometimes because you'll see a few people on the treet and start having a panic attack, convinced the 14yr old kids asking you to buy them alcohol are going to knife you on the way home. Well, it's your life. If you are actually becoming a decent person and living normally, good for you but I honestly don't care enough to follow your mediochre exploits into socialising. I'm bitter, but only because you can't leave me alone.
As for the friend and confidant and doing anything for me, cut the bullshit fuckface you couldn't even give me ONE NIGHT of peace. Even when I went away in that last week, to a party in the middle of nowhere, with friends, where there's never any signal, you just kept calling. So I hardly think you'd do anything for me. Ever.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That of course was the reply in my head. What I actually sent was , truthfully:
31/7 18:25
i've been out, away, etc. not checking messages here often.
And that's all I sent. I'm being honest. Allowing one shred of contact but I will block him if he starts up again or tries tugging at my ankles. I've moved on, very happily so, and all I remember are the bad times with him. Given how they far outweigh the good it's not surprising really. I'll collect the last of my things asap, then shut the door for good. It won't help him to be in contact with me, it will probably be easier on him if he stays angry and hates me. I don't want to be hated but in some cases it's neccessary. I may even have to piss him off a bit. Not what I want to do but it will push him away like a kick in the crotch. Which is always a good Plan B.
~~~~~~~~~~~
29/7 00:42am
i finally found out why things went to pieces. im confused about it tbh. never thought itd be something so simple and clear cut. if you want to know just ask and ill explain. i wouldnt bother with this but i believe that if you deserve nothing else you deserve an explaination... also i hope that in some small part it will help you forgive me as the way i acted was not entirely my fault. i dont expect that though..... its your call.
29/7 00:48am
oh side note i wont be able to reply over the weekend if you do want to know as itll be taken up completely with sonisphere.
31/7 00:35am
if you dont want to know or care then fine. But I find it fucking disgusting that you have such little regard for a friend and confidant that would have done anything for you. the last piece of advice ill give you is this. neitzche once said "battle not with monsters lest ye become a monster and if you gaze into the abyss the abyss gazes also into you" i hope you understand the wisdom of those words...
~~~~~~~~~~~
No, I understand the sheer arrogance of those words. Keep them to yourself you don't even know what they mean, pseudo philosophical bullshit, you quote what you do not even know. you buy the books but they remain, as ever, unread. And for the record your actions are your own responsibility, I dont know if I can hold any forgiveness for someone who cannot admit their own flaws. I admit mine, I admit pushing you into doing some of what you did sometimes. Not intentionally of course but I played my part in making you what you were as you played your part in bringing me to my knees. I've rebuilt my life and have little interest in your endless explainations of why you did what you did, as always with you, you have already come up with several different conclusions.
You going to Sonisphere? A festival? Fucking hell, you do realise there are people there don't you jackass? I'm assuming Sam is dragging you, because he cares about you and knows you need to get out. I can't see you volunteering to go away to a music festival and camp, least of all Sonisphere. I mean, fucking hell. It's just beyond belief. You, you who won't walk to the shop sometimes because you'll see a few people on the treet and start having a panic attack, convinced the 14yr old kids asking you to buy them alcohol are going to knife you on the way home. Well, it's your life. If you are actually becoming a decent person and living normally, good for you but I honestly don't care enough to follow your mediochre exploits into socialising. I'm bitter, but only because you can't leave me alone.
As for the friend and confidant and doing anything for me, cut the bullshit fuckface you couldn't even give me ONE NIGHT of peace. Even when I went away in that last week, to a party in the middle of nowhere, with friends, where there's never any signal, you just kept calling. So I hardly think you'd do anything for me. Ever.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That of course was the reply in my head. What I actually sent was , truthfully:
31/7 18:25
i've been out, away, etc. not checking messages here often.
And that's all I sent. I'm being honest. Allowing one shred of contact but I will block him if he starts up again or tries tugging at my ankles. I've moved on, very happily so, and all I remember are the bad times with him. Given how they far outweigh the good it's not surprising really. I'll collect the last of my things asap, then shut the door for good. It won't help him to be in contact with me, it will probably be easier on him if he stays angry and hates me. I don't want to be hated but in some cases it's neccessary. I may even have to piss him off a bit. Not what I want to do but it will push him away like a kick in the crotch. Which is always a good Plan B.
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