I'm stressing over things I shouldn't be. I'm going on about it, I'm bringing down those around me, so it's time to go away. I'm sick of being the self centred fool who can't see past her own problems and ends up dragging down everyone else who is stupid enough to get close. The sensible ones already retreated to a safe distance I guess... I want to help those I see that really need it now, but I'm no good to anyone and I never have been. I break what I try and fix, even when I dedicate years of my life to repairing them somehow I can't seem to manage it....
So I'm going away. I need to be away to go to the jobcentre, but I will stay longer, if I can, and try to find some peace of mind. This probably means I'll be floating on my back halfway to sea by Monday evening, but who knows, I'll go where the tides take me. I want to stay and fight my demons, push it all back and say what needs to be said, do what needs to be done, but this time it's flight that wins and I'm running away from everything I can't quite face. My apologies, it's not how I'd like to do things but if I can't regain my serenity I'll make more of a mess of everything than I already have. Maybe running away is the worst possible thing I could do right now, but it seems the only option to my heart which will forever over-rule the sense in my head.
Dear reader I shall see you soon, and pledge to be more positive again, I don't want to be this person lost and alone, I want to be happy and full of that same old love for the world. I'd rather be the naive idealistic fool than stuck with a puzzle I can't hope to solve, ignorance really can be bliss...I can't be ignorant any more, but what I can be and hope to be is able to help the people I love the most.
Fare thee well
Jenivere Out
So I'm going away. I need to be away to go to the jobcentre, but I will stay longer, if I can, and try to find some peace of mind. This probably means I'll be floating on my back halfway to sea by Monday evening, but who knows, I'll go where the tides take me. I want to stay and fight my demons, push it all back and say what needs to be said, do what needs to be done, but this time it's flight that wins and I'm running away from everything I can't quite face. My apologies, it's not how I'd like to do things but if I can't regain my serenity I'll make more of a mess of everything than I already have. Maybe running away is the worst possible thing I could do right now, but it seems the only option to my heart which will forever over-rule the sense in my head.
Dear reader I shall see you soon, and pledge to be more positive again, I don't want to be this person lost and alone, I want to be happy and full of that same old love for the world. I'd rather be the naive idealistic fool than stuck with a puzzle I can't hope to solve, ignorance really can be bliss...I can't be ignorant any more, but what I can be and hope to be is able to help the people I love the most.
Fare thee well
Jenivere Out
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