Tuesday night came in fast, and the plan was to go to the pub for a bit then head on to Dan's after he'd had a bath and stuff after work at around 10pm. Well on the way to the pub as I left so late I saw Dan walking home and pulled over for a hug. I was in a top mood and happy, looking forward to the weekend and a day to spend with Dan on Wednesday. We spoke for a minute and agreed I'd meet him at his place at 10 or he'd text me when he was out of the bath. He later didn't remember me saying 10pm but that's a story I'll get to in a minute.
So I got to the pub, and everyone was outside on one bench. Nobody made a hint of an effort at making room so I stood at the end of the table. Barely as I'd got there a couple of people made some comments about Dan I wasn't happy with, and my mood slipped. It was brought crashing to the ground when the subject of the weekend came up. April made a snide comment about how the message I'd sent on Facebook with all the details on was too long and "could have been submitted to English as a fucking essay, nobody's going to bother to read it". Well, if you're going to get bitchy about it then fine, you're obviously don't have the inteligence to skimread or the attention span to give a damn what anyone else thinks but yourself. Maybe it was too long but you didn't have to read it to get the gist. Don't worry though I'll rewrite a new one later in length and language you might be able to cope with. I don't mean to sound spiteful but there was acid in her words and voice that I find hard to ignore.
Anyway, back to the point, it then came out that some people were offended at not getting said message and the invites, but to be fair I'd completely forgotten, I'd only just added them on facebook and hadn't invited them to the group trip event that I'd been planning since about April/May, long before I even met them! So they got uppity about that one too. Then I asked Zac if he was still cool with the plan at which point the same people again interjected that he was in fact now going with them to Swanage, and tried to make out that Dan and I were just using him for the lift in his car. We enjoy his company, Dan considers him a good close friend, and I know for a fact that since I invited him to this trip he has been asking me about details practically ever time we meet. We'd been looking forward to this, and the plan was Zac would take Dan after work and meet us in Poole and we'd all go over together, but now things were said like "oh he wants to do his own thing, you're just using him for the car because Dan can't get there otherwise" and all that crap. Bullshit! Plus after talking to Dan yesterday the same people saying all that are using Zac for a lift to Swanage.
Two faced bitching and purposeful ruining of other peoples plans is going on here and I don't like it one bit. They tried to do it last time when we were saying it would be cool if Zac came with us to Sound Circus for the night, but they had plans for Swanage. Well, in the end they left him behind because they obviously had enough cars for themselves and we were both saying it was a shame he wasn't with us, he could have come on the bus and been able to drink and enjoy himself, not having to drive anyone anywhere.
I mentioned again about Saturday that I thought Jamesy (who I'd spoken to the day before about it) was coming along to Studland, but they instantly said no he's with us. So it felt at this point with everyone else I'd invited dropping out one by one that the whole thing was just going to shit. Thankfully Sue who had been staying out of it said she'd like to come, and bring along her boyfriend and maybe a couple of other friends too. We swapped numbers and I thanked her for being nice when everyone else has obviously decided they don't like me now. It was only 9:25pm though and I was fed up of standing and feeling completely shunned by everyone, so I said bye to Sue and went to find something to do until 10pm.
My first call was to park up behind Morrisons and sit on the bench under the trees for a while and try to get rid of the upset that was threatening to overtake me, but within a few minutes a car full of chavs pulled up and I made a hasty decision to leave immediately. I headed around to Tesco, knowing they were open late, and went in to mill about and pass the time. I'd sent Dan a message before leaving asking if it was ok if I turned up early because I didn't want to stay any longer but had no reply so I thought it best to wait until 10. I got wispas, cookies and galaxy hot chocolate to make myself feel better, and some microwave paninis for the morning. The last 15 minutes I spent sat in the carpark next to my bike, texting Marcus to see how he is settling in to his new flat. After being kicked out of his house (he's only 16) he had spent a week in a tent in the woods before they gave him somewhere to live. Thankfully it sounds as if he's settled in well, if a little lonely now being so far away from everyone he knows.
10pm rolled in, and still feeling not much happier I drove over the road to Dan's. His mum let me in and I went upstairs to wait as he wasn't out of the bath yet, so I sat on his bed and read a few more pages of book. I was instantly cheered up by the look on his face and the cry of shock he let out when he saw me there, he was at the doorway without even a towel on to cover his modesty! It's not like I haven't seen anything before but he was surprised and said he hoped he had time to sort himself out before I came over. Still in fits of giggles I laid back and looked at the ceiling while he got some clothes on.
Once he was presentable (vaguely) he checked his phone and got my message. He asked why I'd wanted to leave early so I explained while trying not to get upset about it. It's awkward because I feel more upset when I'm angry because I quite simply hate being angry but that's how I felt towards some of them and the way they'd been speaking to me and so inconsiderate that evening. Well, Dan caught on and told me he didn't want me to be sad especially not with him, and that he'd hug and kiss me until I was happy again. It didn't take long, there's something about him that just makes me want to smile, he knows exactly how to make me giggle and forget stresses.
After that we went downstairs to make hot chocolate, we added coffee in for a bit more energy as we'd decided to watch The Dark Knight together. It was late but the day after was his day off so we settled down with mocha, cookies and cuddles to watch it. I absolutely loved the film, as I hadn't seen it before - it was awesome in many ways. By the time we'd got to the end though it was almost 3am! We decided to stay up longer and watch tv as we were so comfy laying on the sofa together. We ended up falling asleep there to be woken at 7am by his mum coming down and demanding we get up. Woops.
We went upstairs and dozed off for another few hours before getting up for coffee and breakfast. We quickly dropped the plan of going to Poole for the day, because time had gone on a bit and Dan needed to go to the doctor in the afternoon about his leg. He'd broken it a couple of years ago and had some pain in there which was now getting worse so it was definately time to get it checked up. We spent the morning relaxing and watching music channels, which was welcome because I've now got whatever it is that Dan had. Headaches and a painful chesty cough, total feeling of being run down by a bus, not good!
We eventually left when it was time to get him to the doc, and after the appointment we slowly wandered back through town. We stopped in the book shop, where he found some comics for his collection and I found a book called "Psychology and Psychiatry for Nurses" - it was 75p and though written in the 60's I thought it'd be good background reading for some more info. Dan bought it for me and I got us each ice cream from the shop nearby. We wandered back slowly because I was feeling the heat, despite it being cloudy and Dan assuring me it was slightly chilly.
When we got back I laid back and relaxed as I was feeling a bit rough for gaming and watched Dan playing MGS3. He'd just completed it so was running around on a second playthrough in a tuxedo with the Patriot gun not taking it all too seriously like his first time through. It was funny watching him run and gun through the forest, and talking to Sigint on the codec about the patriot was even more giggles!
His mum made us some hotdogs with onions for dinner, bless her, and afterwards we headed up to the pub. After the night before a big part of me didn't want to go and I felt awkward about it to be honest, bad vibes and all that. Still, we met his ex Emma on the way up and convinced her to come along with Charlie when she'd got changed from work.
We arrived and everyone was again sat on one bench but there was just enough room to squeeze a seat on one end each. There was a little grey cat, fairly young and fluffy, wandering around everyone so we picked it up for a cuddle, and when Dan went for drinks I sat down with it and it settled happily on my lap purring and clawing at my knee. Bless. I chatted a bit to Sue who was next to me but it seemed like when Dan came back too our end of the table was being kept a bit seperate to their conversations. When Emma and Charlie turned up, I suggested we move on to the benches behind us which were pushed together into a long table so we could all sit down. Well, Dan, Sue and myself moved over and the others stayed put. Chrispy ended up sat on the table down from us mostly talking to another Emma about things so we mostly left them to it. I'm just guessing it's about Emma's now fiance who is still in hospital, and Chrispy saw him when he went there about his eyes earlier in the day. We're all hoping he comes out soon, he's been in over 2months but hopefully he's making more progress to recovery now.
So anyway, after Sue left fairly early, the rest of the eve was mainly spent with me and Dan talking to Emma and Charlie. We had a good laugh, and I finally relaxed a bit although there were outbursts of laughter from the other table and I did hear us being mentioned at times. At one point, Dan went to talk to Zac privately about the weekend, so I spent some time convincing the other 2 to join us. I really hope they do, the more the merrier, and I'm sure they'll get on with people. It would be good to actually have someone turn up. I understand some people have dropped out with good reason, I have nothing against them at all, but it's the ones that won't even tell me if they want to go or not or the whole fiasco about conflicting plans...they're basically just copying us anyway, we started the trend for overnight beaching and they were jealous because they weren't having as much fun, obviously, so now they feel the need to ruin our plans by making someone feel that we are using them when in fact it's the other way around!
Back on track though, we left about 11:30pm ish and walked back with Emma and Charlie having a laugh all the way, we parted halfway through town and said farewell. There's not much I'll say about the night after that point but it was a good one and I fell asleep very happy knowing I have the best boyfriend around.
This morning I woke up tired and run down, couldn't face a coffee so just had water before leaving at quarter to 9 and drove straight home. I'm now trying to chill and get some energy back before my sister gets here at 2pm. She's been promised I'll be more awake than I was this morning but I feel really rough, cant seem to clear my head unfortunately but at least writing about the first half of this cleared a little stress and the rest made me smile to remember.
~~~~~~~ Though of the Day ~~~~~~~
Maybe this is what he meant when he said I couldn't trust anyone, perhaps I should have been more cautious. I feel betrayed by people I barely know and ask myself why their knives would bury themselves in my spine when I wish them no harm?
Jenivere Out.
So I got to the pub, and everyone was outside on one bench. Nobody made a hint of an effort at making room so I stood at the end of the table. Barely as I'd got there a couple of people made some comments about Dan I wasn't happy with, and my mood slipped. It was brought crashing to the ground when the subject of the weekend came up. April made a snide comment about how the message I'd sent on Facebook with all the details on was too long and "could have been submitted to English as a fucking essay, nobody's going to bother to read it". Well, if you're going to get bitchy about it then fine, you're obviously don't have the inteligence to skimread or the attention span to give a damn what anyone else thinks but yourself. Maybe it was too long but you didn't have to read it to get the gist. Don't worry though I'll rewrite a new one later in length and language you might be able to cope with. I don't mean to sound spiteful but there was acid in her words and voice that I find hard to ignore.
Anyway, back to the point, it then came out that some people were offended at not getting said message and the invites, but to be fair I'd completely forgotten, I'd only just added them on facebook and hadn't invited them to the group trip event that I'd been planning since about April/May, long before I even met them! So they got uppity about that one too. Then I asked Zac if he was still cool with the plan at which point the same people again interjected that he was in fact now going with them to Swanage, and tried to make out that Dan and I were just using him for the lift in his car. We enjoy his company, Dan considers him a good close friend, and I know for a fact that since I invited him to this trip he has been asking me about details practically ever time we meet. We'd been looking forward to this, and the plan was Zac would take Dan after work and meet us in Poole and we'd all go over together, but now things were said like "oh he wants to do his own thing, you're just using him for the car because Dan can't get there otherwise" and all that crap. Bullshit! Plus after talking to Dan yesterday the same people saying all that are using Zac for a lift to Swanage.
Two faced bitching and purposeful ruining of other peoples plans is going on here and I don't like it one bit. They tried to do it last time when we were saying it would be cool if Zac came with us to Sound Circus for the night, but they had plans for Swanage. Well, in the end they left him behind because they obviously had enough cars for themselves and we were both saying it was a shame he wasn't with us, he could have come on the bus and been able to drink and enjoy himself, not having to drive anyone anywhere.
I mentioned again about Saturday that I thought Jamesy (who I'd spoken to the day before about it) was coming along to Studland, but they instantly said no he's with us. So it felt at this point with everyone else I'd invited dropping out one by one that the whole thing was just going to shit. Thankfully Sue who had been staying out of it said she'd like to come, and bring along her boyfriend and maybe a couple of other friends too. We swapped numbers and I thanked her for being nice when everyone else has obviously decided they don't like me now. It was only 9:25pm though and I was fed up of standing and feeling completely shunned by everyone, so I said bye to Sue and went to find something to do until 10pm.
My first call was to park up behind Morrisons and sit on the bench under the trees for a while and try to get rid of the upset that was threatening to overtake me, but within a few minutes a car full of chavs pulled up and I made a hasty decision to leave immediately. I headed around to Tesco, knowing they were open late, and went in to mill about and pass the time. I'd sent Dan a message before leaving asking if it was ok if I turned up early because I didn't want to stay any longer but had no reply so I thought it best to wait until 10. I got wispas, cookies and galaxy hot chocolate to make myself feel better, and some microwave paninis for the morning. The last 15 minutes I spent sat in the carpark next to my bike, texting Marcus to see how he is settling in to his new flat. After being kicked out of his house (he's only 16) he had spent a week in a tent in the woods before they gave him somewhere to live. Thankfully it sounds as if he's settled in well, if a little lonely now being so far away from everyone he knows.
10pm rolled in, and still feeling not much happier I drove over the road to Dan's. His mum let me in and I went upstairs to wait as he wasn't out of the bath yet, so I sat on his bed and read a few more pages of book. I was instantly cheered up by the look on his face and the cry of shock he let out when he saw me there, he was at the doorway without even a towel on to cover his modesty! It's not like I haven't seen anything before but he was surprised and said he hoped he had time to sort himself out before I came over. Still in fits of giggles I laid back and looked at the ceiling while he got some clothes on.
Once he was presentable (vaguely) he checked his phone and got my message. He asked why I'd wanted to leave early so I explained while trying not to get upset about it. It's awkward because I feel more upset when I'm angry because I quite simply hate being angry but that's how I felt towards some of them and the way they'd been speaking to me and so inconsiderate that evening. Well, Dan caught on and told me he didn't want me to be sad especially not with him, and that he'd hug and kiss me until I was happy again. It didn't take long, there's something about him that just makes me want to smile, he knows exactly how to make me giggle and forget stresses.
After that we went downstairs to make hot chocolate, we added coffee in for a bit more energy as we'd decided to watch The Dark Knight together. It was late but the day after was his day off so we settled down with mocha, cookies and cuddles to watch it. I absolutely loved the film, as I hadn't seen it before - it was awesome in many ways. By the time we'd got to the end though it was almost 3am! We decided to stay up longer and watch tv as we were so comfy laying on the sofa together. We ended up falling asleep there to be woken at 7am by his mum coming down and demanding we get up. Woops.
We went upstairs and dozed off for another few hours before getting up for coffee and breakfast. We quickly dropped the plan of going to Poole for the day, because time had gone on a bit and Dan needed to go to the doctor in the afternoon about his leg. He'd broken it a couple of years ago and had some pain in there which was now getting worse so it was definately time to get it checked up. We spent the morning relaxing and watching music channels, which was welcome because I've now got whatever it is that Dan had. Headaches and a painful chesty cough, total feeling of being run down by a bus, not good!
We eventually left when it was time to get him to the doc, and after the appointment we slowly wandered back through town. We stopped in the book shop, where he found some comics for his collection and I found a book called "Psychology and Psychiatry for Nurses" - it was 75p and though written in the 60's I thought it'd be good background reading for some more info. Dan bought it for me and I got us each ice cream from the shop nearby. We wandered back slowly because I was feeling the heat, despite it being cloudy and Dan assuring me it was slightly chilly.
When we got back I laid back and relaxed as I was feeling a bit rough for gaming and watched Dan playing MGS3. He'd just completed it so was running around on a second playthrough in a tuxedo with the Patriot gun not taking it all too seriously like his first time through. It was funny watching him run and gun through the forest, and talking to Sigint on the codec about the patriot was even more giggles!
His mum made us some hotdogs with onions for dinner, bless her, and afterwards we headed up to the pub. After the night before a big part of me didn't want to go and I felt awkward about it to be honest, bad vibes and all that. Still, we met his ex Emma on the way up and convinced her to come along with Charlie when she'd got changed from work.
We arrived and everyone was again sat on one bench but there was just enough room to squeeze a seat on one end each. There was a little grey cat, fairly young and fluffy, wandering around everyone so we picked it up for a cuddle, and when Dan went for drinks I sat down with it and it settled happily on my lap purring and clawing at my knee. Bless. I chatted a bit to Sue who was next to me but it seemed like when Dan came back too our end of the table was being kept a bit seperate to their conversations. When Emma and Charlie turned up, I suggested we move on to the benches behind us which were pushed together into a long table so we could all sit down. Well, Dan, Sue and myself moved over and the others stayed put. Chrispy ended up sat on the table down from us mostly talking to another Emma about things so we mostly left them to it. I'm just guessing it's about Emma's now fiance who is still in hospital, and Chrispy saw him when he went there about his eyes earlier in the day. We're all hoping he comes out soon, he's been in over 2months but hopefully he's making more progress to recovery now.
So anyway, after Sue left fairly early, the rest of the eve was mainly spent with me and Dan talking to Emma and Charlie. We had a good laugh, and I finally relaxed a bit although there were outbursts of laughter from the other table and I did hear us being mentioned at times. At one point, Dan went to talk to Zac privately about the weekend, so I spent some time convincing the other 2 to join us. I really hope they do, the more the merrier, and I'm sure they'll get on with people. It would be good to actually have someone turn up. I understand some people have dropped out with good reason, I have nothing against them at all, but it's the ones that won't even tell me if they want to go or not or the whole fiasco about conflicting plans...they're basically just copying us anyway, we started the trend for overnight beaching and they were jealous because they weren't having as much fun, obviously, so now they feel the need to ruin our plans by making someone feel that we are using them when in fact it's the other way around!
Back on track though, we left about 11:30pm ish and walked back with Emma and Charlie having a laugh all the way, we parted halfway through town and said farewell. There's not much I'll say about the night after that point but it was a good one and I fell asleep very happy knowing I have the best boyfriend around.
This morning I woke up tired and run down, couldn't face a coffee so just had water before leaving at quarter to 9 and drove straight home. I'm now trying to chill and get some energy back before my sister gets here at 2pm. She's been promised I'll be more awake than I was this morning but I feel really rough, cant seem to clear my head unfortunately but at least writing about the first half of this cleared a little stress and the rest made me smile to remember.
~~~~~~~ Though of the Day ~~~~~~~
Maybe this is what he meant when he said I couldn't trust anyone, perhaps I should have been more cautious. I feel betrayed by people I barely know and ask myself why their knives would bury themselves in my spine when I wish them no harm?
Jenivere Out.
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